It’s not so black and white: Interracial dating from the black woman’s perspective
First, let me preface this by saying this was written based on secondary sources ONLY, my friends and associates. I know these generalities won’t apply to everyone but just hear me out. I am well aware that some black men, because of upbringing and otherwise are only attracted to white women, as is the case for some black women. This does not apply to those, rather to those that have strayed for “other” reasons. And in case you feel a need to wonder, I am a educated, brown skinned, black woman with natural hair… that may come into play later. LOL. Here goes…
People make assumptions about why black women have such distaste for black men dating outside of their race. People assume we’re just “haters” or “jealous” or just being “angry black women” again. Honestly, some of those and other labels may be accurate but I happen to believe it runs much MUCH deeper.
First, we feel betrayed. We cherish the black man like no other. The only way we will step outside of the black man is either because we are tired of waiting for a black man to cherish us the way we cherish them OR the other race is simply irresistible. And when I say irresistible I mean Justin Timberlake, Patrick Dempsy, Robin Thicke irresistible (my personal top 3 “could get it” picks). But it feels like some black men will date ANY kind of white girl instead of us. White trash is the same thing as hood in case you didn’t know, an average looking black girl is just as easy to find as an average white one and the “down” white girl is the ultimate slap in the face because it means you like our “ways” you just don’t want us. I mean if you are going to stray can you at least make sure the girl is so bad that a black woman would say, “I can’t even be mad at him, the girl is bad.”
We are frustrated. Our field is severely limited. So many black men are or have been incarcerated. Then there are those who are gay (don’t get me wrong, I love the gay boys). Then of what’s left, we either don’t want because they are not worth having or have to compete with the United Nations of women to attract. There is only a small percentage of black men that prefer black women, and most them, because of their favorable selection, already have the one they want. So, yes we cut our eyes, sigh or smack our lips. Afterall, that’s how many people deal with frustration, isn’t it? It’s not because we hate you, its because we love you.
We are highly misunderstood. Yes we have attitude and a mouth to match. But on anyone else, it would be described as passion and conviction. So why do we get the bad wrap? Yes the white girl may be a little easier to deal with but what we lack in ease, we more than make up for in passion. We will not deal with BS or be taken advantage of but we will ride through the good bad and the ugly. Why? Because that’s just how much we love you.
Despite all that, sometimes we get little more than a second glance. And don’t let the black girl be dark-skinned or have natural hair because then you really won’t look. We are not all as abrasive as you think, neither is our hair. ☺ It is very hurtful that we have begun to embrace who we really are from the inside out and are punished by the very men that should appreciate it the most.
So whether you believe that we are all just haters or not, understand that its not that black and white.
Leave a Reply